Showing posts with label bad movies i love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bad movies i love. Show all posts

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"halloween 6" megapost.


I was never one for the Friday the 13th flicks. The first entry lulled me asleep, the next three were moderately entertaining, and the rest would probably smell like children if I were the Grand High Witch of Roald Dahl's magically perverse imagination. The Elm Street movies were more my style; the first is genuinely frightening, the second is amusing in a rather homoerotic way, and once they went full dreamland as a plot device, I relished the cheese with a tupperware bowl full 'o crackers.

But when it comes to my particular favorite slasher series, I have to hand it to Halloween, simply because of the manner in which those calling the shots torpedoed it from the threadbare premise of a psycho in a mask killing teenagers to full-blown ridiculousness involving cults, Druids, telepathy, and Paul fuckin Rudd.

Just when the "Man In Black" element of Halloween 5 got you thinking that it could not possibly get any crazier, along came Halloween: The Curse of Michael Mysers six years later. Plagued with reshoots, rewrites, a pathetic director (according to star Marianne Hagan), and teen boys at test screenings, what ended up on theater screens is generally considered an abortion of what could have been by all involved.

Fortunately, a so-called "Producer's Cut" leaked shortly after the theatrical release in the mid-nineties; a cut vastly different from the one released, but even more muddled with absurdity. Those absurdities, however, are what make it such a stand-out entry in the series. Moustapha Akkad & Co. dived in, tits to the wind, to make a horror flick of such preposterousness that one much admire it for that alone. A horror flick in which small stones are used to stop Michael Myers.

This is that so-called "Producer's Cut" in the best available quality. Whereas previous versions spliced the cut footage in with the DVD release, resulting in a film of varying quality every few minutes, this version is completely unspliced, taken from a low generation copy before it really started making the rounds in trading circles.

Screenshots (click to enlarge):

"Producer's Cut" DOWNLOAD (800 MBs, join with HJ Split)

In addition to the alternate cut, I also have quite a few odds & ends that I've acquired over the years. The Fangoria cover story, promos, trailers, and even some home movies of the special effects shot during the reshoots.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

bad movies i love: the possession of joel delaney

The Possession of Joel Delaney

Set in a world much like our own but with Perry King & spirits & shit, Warren Beatty's sister has heart palpitations at the sight of a single Puerto Rican. Nevermind that her younger brother has supposedly been possessed by the ghost of a voodoo serial killer, she sees one Puerto Rican on the street and can't run fast enough, yet leaves her children alone with a murderer. Suddenly, an epiphany: "Oh, fuck, them Puerto Ricans know all about that crazy voodoo shit and can save my bro; I need their help! LOLZ SORRY GUISE, I LOVE U NOW AND I EVEN HAZ MONIES TO SHARE!"

As awful as this offal is, and as obvious as it is that they wanted to cash-in on The Exorcist furor, the finale is so creeptastic that goosepimples are guaranteed. But the build-up sure is a hoot with Shirley's Puerto Rican Hysteria!!! taking center stage. They won't harm you, Shirley, I promise. And they have plantain chips.